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Rejection and Loss and how to deal with Rejection
The Good News Mission

Rejection and Loss and how to deal with Rejection

Isaiah 53: 2 -4  In God’s eyes he was like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground. But in our eyes there was no attractiveness at all, nothing to make us want him. We despised him and rejected him - a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we didn' care.

Rejection and Loss....

  • If you have rejection, even though you are saved and going to heaven, you lead a very miserable life
  • Loss is when we get detached from something or someone we loved and valued.
  • When we invest our time, energy, emotions, finances, hopes into something or someone and then we lose it, it will affect us negatively.

Samson died a rejected man; By people and himself

Judges 16:25-31 25 While they were in high spirits, they shouted, “Bring out Samson to entertain us.” So they called Samson out of the prison, and he performed for them. When they stood him among the pillars, 26 Samson said to the servant who held his hand, “Put me where I can feel the pillars that support the temple, so that I may lean against them.” 27 Now the temple was crowded with men and women; all the rulers of the Philistines were there, and on the roof were about three thousand men and women watching Samson perform. 28 Then Samson prayed to the Lord, “Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.” 29 Then Samson reached toward the two central pillars on which the temple stood. Bracing himself against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other, 30 Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines!” Then he pushed with all his might, and down came the temple on the rulers and all the people in it. Thus he killed many more when he died than while he lived.

We Begin by redefining Rejection...

  • Rejection is the sense of being unwanted, unloved and unwelcomed
  • It’s being cast aside and driven away.
  • It’s being hated and stigmatized.
  • It’s being thrown away as worthless. It being devalued and despised.
  • Simply rejection is the absence of love. We were created by a loving God to be loved and to love. Every man has a Need to love loved. That's why REJECTION BRINGS THE WORST IN MAN.....
  • Rejection means losing a relationship we valued and loved.
  • It means losing our investment that took time and effort.
  • Rejection is loss and it's never easy. 
  • Whether we caused it or it was caused to us, it will affect us.  

ROOT CAUSES FOR REJECTION.................

Rejection may begin in the womb, (We call them Utero Issues) when a woman conceives unplanned and unprepared. If the child was unwanted right from the mother's womb may open door for a spirit of rejection to follow the child even after birth.......

Let me list all the ROOT CAUSES OF REJECTION.

  1. Unplanned pregnancy,
  2. Attempted abortion.         
  3. Unexpected gender.           
  4. Unfair comparison.       
  5. Broken engagements.     
  6. Divorce and separation.
  7. Sexual abuse.                     
  8. All manner of abuse.         
  9. Cycle of failures and defeats
  10. Unkind words.

Different types of rejection.

  1. Generational rejection.
  2. Utero rejection.
  3. Parental rejection.
  4. Perceived, Imagined rejection.
  5. Self-rejection.
  6. Spiritual

Signs of Rejection...........           

  1. Over-generalisation. People who have suffered Rejection tend to generalize a personal experience. So if you were rejected by a man, you tend to see all men the same, especially the exact kind, color and size of the man who rejected you. That’s why you hear phrases like "all men are liars".  It's important to avoid putting all men, women in one basket. stop projecting to other innocent people your personal experience. It's important to know that all men are different, all people are not the same.
  2. Rejection can lead to self-inflicted pains, e.g when you were offended by your boss, then you go to another place looking for a job, the Rejection will show on your face - your attitude will be reflected on your body language, you won't like the interviewers and guess what, they won't like you either ,and the end result, you end of failing the interview. So we need freedom from Rejection so that favour can show on our faces.

These are Signs and the Symptoms and the Feelings and the Reactions of the Rejected.                               

  1. Self-pity, Sorrow, Sadness.
  2. Withdraw and Isolation.          
  3. Personalization, Oversensitivity and over generalization.                        
  4. Hurts leads to Hate, Anger, Resentment, bitterness as a result of betrayal.                         
  5. Grief as a result of loss of relationships due to Rejection.             
  6. You develop a hard-shell to protect yourself from future hurts. So, you become insensitive and stubborn.   
  7. You reject others and stay far away. Rejected people reject others, hurting people hurt others
  8. Mistrust, suspicion and fear to commit.

RESULTS OF LIVING A REJECTED LIFE.

Rejection leads to

  1. low self-esteem,
  2. poor self-image and
  3. lack of self-worth - You always feel down and low.                      
  4. Insecurities and suspicion. You are full of mistrust. You don't trust anyone. You are insecure in your relationships.
  5.  Rejection may lead to Rebellion. Many rebellious people were once rejected,
  6. Rebellion is one way of getting the ATTENTION you lacked.
  7. Rejection may lead to breakdown of Relationships, separation and divorces.
  8. Rejection may lead to Depression. Rejection is a killer.
  9. Rejection may cause people to feel unwanted and may lead to suicidal tendencies.

How do we handle the loss?

After you suffer loss of a relationship, or an investment you may feel like a failure. People who have suffered Rejection tend to go through a cycle of failures and defeats because their perspective was wrong.

It's important to know that,

  1. We don't Lose, we only LEARN. Take the lessons forget the details.
  2. Because a relationship failed, that does not make you a failure. It's the relationship that failed, not you. Separate yourself from the problem. Because you never failed, you can arise and succeed.        
  3. If you lost something, it's not the end, there is always something better ahead, so keep going, don't stop.
  4. You are allowed to mourn and cry and wait for your loss but after mourning, move on. Tomorrow is better than yesterday.
  5. Finally, take time to heal before you start something new. Don't go bleeding into another relationship. Avoid bouncing back relationship. Heal first, take in the lessons of the past.

How to heal from Rejection

  1. Revive your self-worth.  Psalm 27:10" Though my father and mother forsake me (reject me) the Lord will receive me." Think about it. Even if our own parents or family members will forsake us, God will always receive us and will never abandon us. Therefore, your identity as a person does not come from others who rejected you.
  2. We have Jesus Christ who has already set us free Galatians 3:13 Galatians 3:13 KJV: Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed [is] every one that hanged on a tree:
  3. Stop the bleeding.
  4. Connect to those who appreciate and love you. Isaiah 49:15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
  5. Be a good parent to your child(ren) by...
  6. Blessing your children by words and prayers. Do not curse them, cursing your children is cursing yourself.
  7. Avoid Unfair Comparison of your children. All children are Unique and special in their own ways.
  8. Create positive memories in your children. Pray and Play with your children...
  9. Be the Role model, Children Learn by Example.
  10. Dedicate your children to God, pray for them, Prophesy great things over them.
  11. Be Present in the lives of your children, go for parents’ day and academic clinic. They need your Presence more than your presents. Stop being an Absent parent.
  12. Give to your children, provide for them, support them and make sure their basic spiritual, psychological and physical needs are met. Remember you Create the Image of God in your children.

Isaiah 53: 2 -4  In God’s eyes he was like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground. But in our eyes there was no attractiveness at all, nothing to make us want him. We despised him and rejected him - a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we didn' care.


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